The Comfort, Part 2

3 Years, 3 Months, 3 Weeks, 3 Days, 3 Hours, 3 Minutes
3 Minutes, 3 Hours, 3 Days, 3 Weeks, 3 Months, 3 Years

So a fundamental question has arisen in my mind. The question originates with a Duncan Jones discussion about his new film, "Moon." It's Sam Rockwell's character that is of interest. Rockwell plays the role of a solitary worker nearing the end of his three-year contract harvesting helium-3 on the moon. Perhaps he goes crazy. It's hard to say without seeing the film.

The fundamental question for me becomes (or the questions become):

What would it be like to meet yourself? To really meet yourself; as you really are…not as any of the customized characters with the customized acts put on for a multitude of customized audiences. But what would it be like to truly interact with yourself as you do with others? How would that go?

It's something to ponder for sure. Think of the people you know whom you call your friends. They all have characteristics you like, enjoy, or tolerate to varying degrees. What are some of these characteristics? What do you like or dislike about your friends? What do you like or dislike about yourself? So imagine having an opportunity to interact, one-on-one, with you. And as with Rockwell's character's case, in a desolate environment and for an extended period of time.

Some of my closest friends I liked immediately. They just had that thing about them, the kind of people who possess easy-to-like traits. You are not alone with these people, lots of people like this kind of person. They have that thing. Rickey Powell comes to mind.

Another category is the friends where it took some time or an event to bring you together. You can mark the era or occasion with a degree of accuracy. From working together or 9/11, you have a history…happily ever after though. You are solid and true in perpetuity. This is the Big Dave Wave category.

A third and somewhat unusual category are the friends whom you kind of disliked at first. My friend Tim falls into this one squarely. I got to know Tim rather well and had to be in a very close proximity working for a common goal for several years. I pretty much detested his snotty, arrogant, detached, better than thou attitude from day one. Couldn't stand the guy. I had some respect and admiration but that had to slowly sift through hate filters.

And he me. Same thing vice versa, Tim admitted and confessed to hating my ass right back. And you know why? Same reasons. You see, what we discovered was that we were, Tim and I, the very same person for the most part. Basically twins. Our characteristics and experiences were quite similarly matched up until about a decade ago. We became inseparable until it was time for us to separate, when we had no other choice. But we finished thoughts and sentences like elderly couples. We had much unspoken time where we were in maximum chill zones together. Other times we grated each other's nerves severely. Sometimes things, like pizza, were thrown.

And then there are the people you discover at a leisurely pace and you sense that they were are very much like you. And you discover that they are very much like you. That's great. It's like that with my pal Benjamin. We're basically the same but different experientially. Unlike Tim where we were spookily similar in experiences and upbringing, Benjamin and I are similarly opposite if that makes any sense.

I think it may be my experience with Tim, for the most part, that might most closely match what it could be like meeting myself these wild oscillations between sheer weightlessness and engine seizing friction. But overall, a pretty swell relationship…given the imposition of some limits and boundaries. Tim and I would never have predicted we'd be friendly, not to mention close. But would that be the case?

Is meeting yourself in any way similar to having an identical twin? There can be no two people as similar; sharing DNA and typically sharing—for a period of time, anyway, the growing up years—an overwhelmingly similar experience set. But is it really like meeting yourself? Probably not in this case since I guess I envision this meeting of yourself for the first time as something that happens after you have a lifetime of experiences, knowledge, and context.

Think about that.

After all the charm and fun and intellectual stimulation, here is a distinct and high probability that I (or any of us) would fucking drive our other selves crazy. All the foibles, idiosyncrasies, and vulnerabilities that we try to hide suddenly exposed for the other to suffer. And those same negative characteristics coming right back at you. It's the recipe for insanity given you'd have not only the ability to predict all reactions but you lose all ability to con your other.

It's feedback that would kill. It's two mirrors reflecting into infinity. That's why I mentioned the imposition of limits and boundaries, an impossible task but the only way to put my brain around this. You (or I) couldn't place any more limits or boundaries on the other you than you can yourself. It's a fuck and flawed premise.

Liking oneself is not the same as being able to stand yourself. But, all I ask is that you think about it for a while. What would it be like to meet yourself? It's a fundamental question.

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{Part 1}