Five

1) Spring Time

Winter’s optimism becomes spring time's dread
Mud season of the soul; like quicksand – engulfing

Transitions are like this though
Veritable carousels of weather and human disposition

Like riding on a vast cosmic
Mood swing (here now)

Without segue, how devastating
A word – a thought – a hastily blurted notion can be

I suppose when it comes to the important things
One is always alone

It must be the manner, style, and panache
in which we manage our absolute aloneness
that allows us to grow up – or get to know ourselves

Living by being “in relation to” others and things
But there are always thresholds

2) The Hierarchy of Genius

Grace and instinct
Myth making lives
Turning woe and work
into insight and meaning

Disciplining our real talents
To best utilize our wild
Irrational daily fluctuations
If only to keep from falling
on our asses – or our faces

Radical acceptance of what really enriches our lives
Our orgasms will come not as an end
Like a clever trick
But as a spiritual, celebratory event

Still under the philosophical underpinnings of
You can have it any way you want it

3) What Lights My House?

Ego and alter ego
The troubles with purgatory indeed
Of masks and roles and expectations

Get a sense of humor
I never knew why
I do what I do why I do it

For all the generosity
There is equal and balancing selfishness
Because for the seemingly playful
And lighthearted interactions

The frighteningly lonely reality
Of my life paralyzes from within

But so what?

So few people do I even care to know
Far outweighed by the number of those curious
About me – so few will ever come close
To ever knowing (never more than will
ever be counted on one thumbless hand)

So even with the curtains drawn
And the messy drawers and closets closed
My house is lighted from within by…

…my devotion and dedication to a life’s
body of art and experiences with friends

4) Untitled

No major differences
Between one day and another

As I enter this stage in my life
Richer in new and even more accurate
Perceptions and predictions –

And a renewed wherewithal to express
As I please without any great
Need for acceptance –

I am confronted with the paradox of
Easing burden and crushing responsibility

But who will mourn my death
Or celebrate the end of my
very human torment and chaos and joy?
Finally at home with my inner self

A radical kind of shift
Is in the air

5) Of Humans and the Gods

I have to admit that I
Have not begun to understand
What is the price of perfection

I don’t care what they say
Just be still and know
I love you…I got to

Living in clusters of being
Being above it all or
Being within the fray

The past is certified
As a finished product
Yesterday is always the past

I am less concerned with
Your need for me to be a particular person
Than my need to be said particular person
Ahh, the necessity of suffering