The Democratic Party

Ahh, bless their hearts. "Rebuilding the American COMMUNITY - neighborhood <- by -> neighborhood."

So, I'm out installing a new storm/screen door on my house (the American dream in action) and this woman walks up, checks her list, and asks me if I'm me. Yep, I'm me alright. She says, "I'm from the Democrats." Uh oh! I'm caught. Busted, I think. She's a volunteer and is going door to door to remind me that the coming mid-terms are important. She's about 60 and is a true believer.

"Ahh, the Democrats" I say. "I've quit the party, ma'am," I tell her. I explain that I'm now officially unaffiliated with a political party. She looks at me, a black appearing man wearing a Mexican national team soccer jersey. "Mexico," she says. She then explains that "no matter how I vote" that the election is crucial (of course the Democrats give you the no-matter-how-you-vote routine...we're so affirming. No Republican worth his or her salt would ever concede that there was an option - your either with them or you kill babies). I assure her that I know this. She tells me, almost in confidence, "we really do have a message" and she hands me a door hanger with the messages on it. Here it is (annotated):

The Democratic Vision - a bold new direction for a secure America <-- Yawn! "Bold?" "New?" Same old shit! I had to turn the flyer over several times looking for the bold, new direction. Sorry, not there.

1) Honest Leadership & Open Government <-- Oh, okay, honest leadership, I get it, it's an attack on the Republican "culture of curruption" - boring, see Matt Taibbi's Rolling Stone magazine beautiful and personal attack on Tom DeLay ("300-odd pounds of pussy repelent"). That's "Bold and New" for Democrats - or, uh, maybe Taibbi's NOT a Democrat. [And, Stephen Colbert? Oh. My. Damn! - "The man is a fucking genius who will revolutionize not just comedy but politics." - RPW. ]Besides, what are the Dems gonna do, really? Open the government? Puh-leez. Okay, what's the president's launch codes? There's never been such thing as open government. This is not a real issue. Throwing lying, theiving, criminals out of office is a real campaign issue.

2) Real Security <-- "telling the truth" to our troops isn't necessarily "real security" since troops are generally the last to ever know the truth. Troops are killers. It's just best not to senslessly send them to folly wars under the guise of security. If the Dems want to protect Americans, outlaw handguns, thank you. Build quality public housing, invest in education, insist that American children are the best educated children (and understand evolution) - that's real security. Stop pollution. That's real secruity. Clean the water. Etc.

3) Energy Independence <-- Yawn #2! "cleaner and stronger America by reducing..." zzzzzzzzzzz. This is so hard for the Democrats. "Hey America! They're lying to you!" That's a message.

4) Ecomomic Prosperity & Educational Excellence <-- Okay, close. At least this hints that education can provide opportunities. But, "prosperity?" Too, chicken-in-every-pot old skool rhetoric. Okay, please tell me what THE PLAN is to accomplish this other than these week focus group words. Couple education, housing, and jobs into a comprehensive package that begins with paying teachers at least quadruple the current salaries and see what happens. Oh gee, I'm going to compete to become a teacher now because it PAYS so well. Son of a bitch, we've changed everything. Where's the money going to come from? Uh, stop blowing shit up on the other side of the planet.

5) A Healthcare System that Works for Everyone <-- Hillary almost blew Clinton's first term with this hot potato. Think it's gonna work this time? Hummm....maybe now is the time. This is a good starting point. Decouple employment from health insurance. Again, what's the plan? But, I'll give them one point for this bullet point; at least it's on the list. It's important. But, I subtract a point for putting it at #5 on the list. Behind three losers (1, 2, & 3). You think Joe and Sally Democrat is going to process anything after item #2? Think again, unless it's on a Blackberry or the TeeVee. Who's doing the branding for the Democrats? The Republicans? Oh, and it's item #5. Duh!

6) Retirement Security <-- I'm 40 and this matters given the shepherding to date of social security. I'm 40 and this is a BORING election topic. But, we have to pander to the old folks who vote. Let's keep scaring them so we don't really have to worry about their health; we'll frighten them to death. Or, bore 'em dead. Sigh!

"TOGETHER, AMERICA CAN DO BETTER" <-- THIS is the reason I quit the party. After five years of Bush II, THIS is all they can come up with?! WTF?! White collar war criminals are running MY America and all the opposition party can come up with is "we can do better." Duh, we can do better. A chicken, a stick, and my four year-old could do better. At least the stick wouldn't lie. They're kidding, right?

How 'bout:

"Hello America. We are the Democrats. We stand for throwing CRIMINALS out of office because they serve to better themselves and their friends. They don't care about you or like you, but need you to vote them in and fund their gluttony. They are criminals who stole an election, who LIED to all of us, and who started a WAR that is KILLING Americans and foreign MEN, WOMEN and CHILDREN, people who have done nothing to us or pose no threat. Oh, and the Supreme Court is skewed for the rest our most of our lives. Oops! Sure it all happened under our watchful eyes, but instead of saying something jackassinine like, "we can do better," which is INSULTING, we're going to say, "throw the bums out of office, prosecute the criminals, and let us begin to put the Constitution back together. Sure, we suck, but we dont' suck NEARLY as much as the Republicans. What have you got to lose?" And, "We're sorry we blew it for so long, but we've awakened from our collective comas."

And, this is the point. The Democrats completely rolled over and got mauled. It's been an embarassing and savage beat-down, ass kicking, sand-in-face humiliation. I'm not going to continue to support losers. I'd rather be a free agent because they've lost what smidgen of credibility they've ever had.

Here's a campaign slogan: Stop voting against your best interest. Wake up, read a book or something. We're sick of pandering to dumbasses. We are now the party of smart, beautiful people. <-- That'll change things.

I may not be smart. I may not run things. But, I'm not going to keep getting beat up by thugs.