Ask Ty…January 11

Q: Some people complain, but as a society, I feel we’ve come a long way. I mean, look, in just four days, we’ll all be celebrating the birthday of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. We will probably have a woman and an African American as viable candidates for president. And, more and more barriers are breaking down re: interracial dating and marriage. So, with all the complaining, don’t you agree that our society has come a long way?

Stephany, Gault California

Ty: Stephanie (I can’t even force myself to type it with a “y”), good question and an even better observation. Gee where to start…

First, and no disrespect intended, but Martin Luther King was a huge pussy. Ouch, you say, how could he say that? Yep. MLK is sacred to blacks and that is some sacrilege talk. But, even though Martin liked his liquor as much as he loved his women, his act was to be a big pussy. Get it? Not yet. Don’t get me wrong, Martin rolled hard with some serious rough necks, but his role was to take a lot of shit. I am proud of the amount of shit he could and did take too.

Listen. Do you think for a minute that the whole “advancement of black equality” movement would have had any traction if MLK and his friends were marching around chanting, “We shall overcome” as the sole technique for change? Nope. That’s only a recipe for an ass whoopin’.

Get this straight right now: without Malcolm X and the Black Panthers scaring the living shit out of all of “White America (tm)” I’d be shining shoes along with Colin Powell and Barak Obama (we’d have a three seat booth) today.

Given the choice of blacks demanding a seat at the proverbial table utilizing Martin’s techniques or utilizing Malcolm’s techniques, uh, suddenly Martin looked not only sane, but also pretty damn saintly. You think white kids and liberals would have ran down to the south to march if they didn’t think that Malcolm and Huey weren’t going to march down THEIR street with guns all stealing their white women and their Buicks? I didn’t think so.

It's the lesser of two evils. You can have peaceful blacks (and please, stop saying "African Americans" that's just weak!) who want to assimilate more than anything or you can have militant blacks that want to "take what" their "owed." That's all Willy Horton and shit.

Roles! Malcolm and Martin (M&M – eminen) needed each other like they both needed their liquor and their women (like we all need our liquor and our women). It was the perfect situation for America: here's your choice, peace or war.

Anyway, back to the rest of your question. Hillary will win. Obama will be in the race for a while and could pick up if Hillary stumbles. One will win. They will both point and laugh at Chris Dodd (ha-ha!) and the rest. John Kerry will open a Taco Bell in Scranton.

Lastly, interracial dating and marriage? Sheesh, people should keep to their own kind. You know that already.

Again, no disrespect and such, and happy birthday Martin. Good work!

Just a guess. - Ty