Hadn’t planned to do any retarded resolutions this year. Generally, I believe that New Year resolutions are for losers given that “new year’s day” is just another day and that wild promises made are sore promises broken. Just hoping that something will happen because you resolve for it to happen (or pray for it) doesn't magically make things happen. Year after year you're still gonna be fat, you'll still smoke, and you somehow manage to keep your shitty job. Resolve that!
But, uh, I guess I’ve made a couple of the resolutions before – but it was just, you know, a joke ('06); weird anti-resolutions and such ('05). I mean, c’mon, who believes this shit anyhow? I was being "bloggy."
[2006]Well I did get a cat. Max, Max, Max…. He’s one bad ass feline motherfucker. I did make some records, made some books, etc. I did…do some, er, stuff (got laid off, visited a lot of hospitals, etc.). I'm more famous than ever before (and that's bittersweet, of course). So, there is some fulfillment for past resolutions.
[2005]
OK I do have one resolution. Here’s my resolution. Seriously (wait for it). I’ve actually thought this through on more than one occasion while driving around in the car. Here it is: “Be nicer to people.”
I know what you’re thinking. What?! He’s gone fuckin' nuts! Kind? Ty? What? I know, it’s like 1+1= chocolate turnip airplanes.
Let me explain: I do not mean I'm gonna go out of my way to meet and greet and help and listen to people I don’t know. Nope. That’s lame as hell. What I mean is I might try to not to go out of my way to actually let people annoy me (active annoyance rejection & prevention - AARP).
What I mean is to actively ignore people more. To let the lame mopes exist peacefully. Now this doesn’t mean we should stop turning off their phones and TeeVees (‘cuz that shit's just fun as hell). It means living happy and free in my own George W. Bush* isolation bubble.
Now how is that “nice” you might want to know. Well I stay out of their hair by not allowing them into mine. We'll see how that works
So if you don’t like my resolution, you can fuck off...I mean you can simply just live in your small world of consumerism and prefabrication. And I'll live in my own customized world.
So, whatever. Here we go. It's a new year.
* Remember, Bush has "resolve" and is always "resolute."
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