Monday

SOTU

The very best part of your president Bush's very, very, thank God, finally last State of the Union address was when your vice president Richard "Dick" Cheney yawned, looked at his phat Halliburton nuclear (new-ke-ler) wristwatch, slapped Nancy Pelosi on the thigh (waking her from a seriously deep nod), leaned over and whispered, "Babycakes, nothing screams 'CHANGE!' like the name Ted Kennedy. That's it, I'm Audi 5K, C-YA! Just bring your notes over later, honey," and got right up, waved bye to Larry Craig, and just left -- just fucking walked out while his young retarded "nephew" rambled on and on and on about helping someone somewhere do something that will never, ever in a million years happen because his vague proposal for it to happen could only happen in like 2118 or something and only if certain conditions applied (like the Senate and the House and the Supreme Court and the Knicks blah-blah stars aligning Jerry Garcia and Ronald Reagan and smartbomb or something 'cuz I nodded off too).

Was anybody listening to that bullshit? Goodbye W. Thanks for everything. I'll call. No really. I call you just as soon as I get next month's minutes. I know it's a bad plan. But, seriously, I'll call. Yeah, always bros. Yeah, no more congressional pork. Kewl. Good timing. You and me Dub. Peace!

The End