The Last Day of October

Boo!

Jigga-boo and porch monkey, it's Halloween time again, goddamn! And here you is a interesting article for you to read about America and traditional times and cars: [clicky]

Country First

Damn You Ty!

Cass to Ty:

Damn it Ty! This sounds like something I would have written (and wish I had):

"OGs can sit this round out. You did your part; solid blocks up the middle, sweet no-look passes in the lane, perfect 6-4-3s in late innings. But it's NG time. And that's not black or white; or red or blue; nor male or female; or north or south. NG time is confident, intelligent, and deliberate." [clicky]

Or this:

"LA is like Baghdad or Seattle to me." [clicky]

Great shit, man.

In other news, notice how the mainstream media, who has up until this point been swinging from Barry O's balls suddenly decides to get all "devil's advocate" and "let's lay of McCain" during this last week? It's like they suddenly decided "Oh fuck, maybe we should hedge our bets." But it's so transparently a 4th quarter 25th hour fake that it's almost insulting. "Did Obama's Ad cutting into the World Series turn off voters? Next on the 11 o clock news...." Come on people. The media. Ah, the media. A locust that, no, a parasite that eats the host body until there is nothing left to devour. It'll use you up, baby, it will use you up until there is nothing left.

On that fine note I'm off to hammer out a midterm, take photos of weird Halloween outfits and then plunge into documenting the election for the next 10 days....

Peace,

Cass, San Francisco

Ty to Cass:

Cass. Thanks for the note and the dab. I appreciate that.

Here's my take on the 11th hour MainStreamMedia hedging: It's only good for the Democratic nominee. It makes the stoners and the kids and the mopes believe that "things in this mirror are closer than they appear." The last minute MSM poo-pooing may nudge a percentage stoners and kids and mopes into actually leaving their hovels and finding their polling place and actually voting. If it looked too much like a lock then a lot of stoners and kids and mopes would do something different than stand in line to vote on Tuesday. America is ADD like a motherfucker. America just might get out of the car at the polling place and see a piece of aluminum foil blow by and forget what the hell it was doing. Shiny! Where's my goddamn Ritalin?!

Also, the MSM has to give the impression that it isn't piling on the old man and the dumb governor. They have to appear fair and balanced. Besides whoever wins this dumb thing will be dragged over the MSM like Bianco Sardo over a grater [it's a hard cheese, dummy].

All I know is this there is "no rest for the weary." We must "lean into the wind" and "keep pushing" and and all that victorious ass Knute Rockne/Ronald Reagan talk that makes Braveheart fans sweat and quiver and swindle elections in Ohio and Florida.

Just ask my girl Ashley Todd about the MSM (and the blogosphere (did I just write that gay word?) is much worse).

[clicky]

New G Art Gangsterment

"Your gangster is not defined by how low your jeans fall by your waist, but more how your genes stand over his expectations. Never forget where you came from. To be a gangster, swagger is not a must, it's a liability, a cliche, a bad suit, cut the bullshit. You know if it wasn't for this, there would be no that. Gangsterment allows you to make up your own laws and create brand new words. Gangster mentality. Damn it feels good to be a gangster."

Jay-Z
"American Gangster"

Let me tell you something, the words above are a far cry and a generation from "Fuck Da Police." Nor are these words as desperate or terrifying as, "Fear of a Black Planet" (indeed, the phrase"Fear of a Black Planet" is far more terrifying than "Fuck Da Police"). The new gangsterment vibe is quite confident, inarguably intelligent, and systematically deliberate. And fuck you, that's not any kind or type of "socialist" talk, fool.

Don't you like how every mope in the county is suddenly some kind of expert on "socialism" now because this week's last desperate talking point happens to use the word "socialist." I've said it before but please stop being such dumb no-thinking-for-themselves racist motherfuckers.

OGs can sit this round out. You did your part; solid blocks up the middle, sweet no-look passes in the lane, perfect 6-4-3s in late innings. But it's NG time. And that's not black or white; or red or blue; nor male or female; or north or south. NG time is confident, intelligent, and deliberate.

America

Middlespace University

What the computer sees:


Weirdo.

"Show B" - Guest Post (edited)

3,000 miles away.

Emails "dubba-U backslash space" Rich

Ty to Rich:

What gives? Phillies won the world series and you've been all, what, too nervous or superstitious to enjoy it? That's your team. This is your time. They aren't going to take the trophy away.

You're not going to get this again for a while.

Just wondering,

-ty


Rich to Ty:

"Maybe it just hasn’t kicked in yet or maybe I missed the bandwagon. But I was on a boat when it all went down last night. I only found out because of all the text messages.

Maybe this is all overshadowed by the big, expected payday next week. I’ve been watching that team and that pennant race closely for two years now. I’ve got a lot invested in that. And like my Philly teams, I’ve rooted for a lot of losers over the years.

I’d like to look back, years from now and think that this was the fortnight that my sister got married, the Phillies won the World Series, and Obama kicked Reagan out of the history books.

Or better year, years from now, I’d like to look back and think that this was the season the Eagles finally won the Superbowl. You’ll be hearing from me when that happens, Luther."

- RW

Ty to Rich:

I feel you. My Dodger-Mania was totally artificial but lighthearted. I couldn't name two players on that team. I gave up on the Raiders (suck) and Lakers (boring) long ago. I just wanted to feel something for the homeland, feel my roots. But I don't don't anymore. LA is like Baghdad or Seattle to me. I have no idea how any of those cities work. Claremont? Ancient history. Santa Cruz? Quickly fading . Even Bethesda? Dulling in impact. It's like I'm on a deserted island in the middle of the Pacific Atlantic sometimes.

In fact, with sports I am completely w/o teams anymore. I do not embrace the teams of my history nor do I care about the teams here. I mean, Wizards/Redskins/Nationals? On one hand, it's good to be so completely over it and not give a shit, on the other hand it's a bit lonely without access to the shallow roots. For the most part and in many ways I'm fairly root-less; shallow or deep.

As far as "that other" team? No lie, dude. I feel I have heart + soul heavily wagered/invested in this one. I can't even write about it anymore. Wake me up on the other side because it's going to be feast or famine. Dam's going to break and somebody is about to get damp.

I tell you, if it wasn't for fivethirtyeight, I'd be a fucking wreck...more of a wreck.

-ty

"...(unless everything goes tits up)..."

Today in Middlespace:

Untitled (something to do with "Cusp" or something)

...and Six of Your Mother

Keeping It Real

What some people call "crazy" others call "keeping it real." And when you think of "keeping it real" who do you think of? It is Colio? How about Al Sharpton? Does Sarah Palin keep it real? Maybe Terrell Owens, huh? Does Terrell Owens keep it real? How about Mahmoud Ahmadinejad? 'Eh? Real enough?

Who keeps it real the most? I know I don't. I'm a huge lying phony son of a bitch so I definitely ain't keeping it real (although the use of "ain't" just now was pretty much in the spirit of keeping it real). Who is the arbiter of real amid an American landscape littered with pretense and cynicism [pan to Honest Injun with single tear falling down his cheek in sadness and disgust over who keeps it real]?

I suppose we have to properly define just what keeping it real (KiR) is, right? The Urban Dictionary kids have ranked the following definitions for KiR:

1) "A black person's excuse for being ignorant or doing ignorant shit. The person who says that they are "keepin' it real" usually claims to be denying pop culture and sticking with their own thing."

2) "The act of being yourself, usually by buying and wearing shit that everyone else has."

3) "When a black celebrity/athlete gets into trouble and his teammates/black commentators/BET media say he's "Keeping it real", as if it were assumed he is supposed to act like that. It is more or less a black-on-black racist term. (White people don't use the term and are largely unaware of what it means.) It says that black people are supposed to get in trouble with the law, thusly "keeping it real"; being true to their race."

When did the kids get so cynical? And so racist! It's not about race or clothing. Keeping it real is philosophy, theory, and execution of how one can/should live a life. Egads and goddammit, we have to go all the way to number four on the UD list to even begin an intelligent conversation about Keeping it Real, motherfuckers. Read, people:

4) "Staying true to yourself, your faith, your life and constantly seeking the truth.

You are keeping it real as long as you do not harm yourself or anyone around you physically mentally or spiritually. You try to benefit the environment and society that surrounds you and eventually serving humanity for the greater good.

By keeping it real you are authentic and do not follow the geopolitical or corporate economic norm, but you strive to develop a norm that is centered on peace, truth, and unity."

Fuck, people! Number four? Four?! Staying true to yourself, your faith, your life and constantly seeking the truth. That's keeping it real. Damn! So let's answer today's question, who keeps it real the most?

The obvious answer is: Ted Nugent. Not Ted Nugent the rock star probably best known for "Cat Scratch Fever." Not Ted Nugent the insane bow-hunter. No, Ted "Ted White and Blue" Nugent, the manifesto writing Ted Nugent, the "outspoken and controversial" Ted Nugent who definitely keeps it 100% for real. See UD definition number four above, again. That is Ted Nugent.

This Ted Nugent:

- "There are hundreds of millions of gun owners in this country, and not one of them will have an accident today. The only misuse of guns comes in environments where there are drugs, alcohol, bad parents, and undisciplined children. Period."

- “Obama, he’s a piece of shit. I told him to suck on my machine gun. Hey Hillary. You might want to ride one of these into the sunset, you worthless bitch…. Freedom!"

- "Able-bodied Americans who refuse to work will be sent to Cuba, Mexico, England and France."

- "I'd instruct the U.S. military warriors to do their job — win the global war on terror right now and eliminate all threats from all sources by any means necessary."

- "I would take appropriate gas and oil from Mexico and the Middle East as payment for all debts we are owed by them."

- "Let's say I just love to shit in the river. That's my pursuit of happiness. I've got a less than desirable pursuit of happiness. I would make sure that I didn't shit upstream of you. You know what I mean. I can't pursue that pursuit of happiness because it would fuck up yours if you're downstream. It's about cause and effect. It's about being cognizant of your cause and effect and altering it so that, not only don't we want anyone to tread on us, we review our treading to make sure we're not treading on anyone else. So, yeah, libertarian, but with a sense of consciousness."

- “Turned off by the work ethic and productive American Dream values of their parents, hippies instead opted for a cowardly, irresponsible lifestyle of random sex, life-destroying drugs and mostly soulless rock music that flourished in San Francisco.”

- "I have never done a drug in my life. I have never smoked a joint in my life. I took two tokes off a joint with the MC5 one night and almost gagged and thought it was stupid. And that's it. I took two tokes off a joint once. I snorted one line of cocaine. And one line of crystal methedrine before my draft physical—but God, that was worth it because I wanted to see the look on the Sergeant's face. That's it for drugs.

I went through a basic period in my life of saying (softly) "No, no thanks" to a period of (yelling) "NO! GET HIM THE FUCK OUTTA HERE!" To when people would offer it to me I would just go fuckin' nuts. People would offer me drugs and it was just like they were holding a razor to my fuckin' arm. And I'd go wild because I considered it an affront.

Because every time we were late, every time an amp didn't work, every time a car wasn't serviced, every time there was a fuck up, it was because someone was stoned. PERIOD! And it was a fuckin' thorn in my side and I kicked fuckin' ass. It was the only way I was able to clean house. And the only way I could impress people to keep the fuck… I've had guys come at me and go:

(in a slurred voice) "Uh, wow, Ted. How y'doin' man? Right on. Uh, where's your Strat? Your Strat, man. C'mon, you always played a Strat! The time we did the cocaine together you were playin' the St—"

(screaming) "GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE! I NEVER PLAYED A STRAT IN MY LIFE!"

- To Sarah Palin: "As a proud fellow American hunter, fisherman and lover of Alaska's soul cleansing magnificent Spirit of the Wild, we who live our American Dream by God, truth, logic, goodwill and decency, thank you for bringing such defiant common sense and self evident truth back to the GOP and politics. We wish you Godspeed for the best hunting and fishing season of your life and pray to God almighty that you bring your bold spirit to the White House."

How do not love that honesty? That patriotism. That espirit de corps. Ted Nugent is a nigga who keeps his shit for real 24/7/365 x 60. God bless!

Thank you Uncle Teddy!

Sincerely and love,

America

I Just Figured It Out

Clinton/Palin
2012 2016

Might run as "Rodham/Heath '16." And there it was, as clear as day. What? That wouldn't win?

Mope Squad America! Racism is Dead

I really had given up on racism, you know. Not whether I'm electing to be a racist or not (because we're all racist--that's simple human nature), but I'd given up on the concept of racism; whether it was a viable paradigm for survival and evolution. It's just so antiquated. Racism no longer serves any practical or aesthetic purposes. It's over like the teletype, the dial-up modem, and slavery. Racism is as old as saying, "da bomb." As in racism is da bomb. Racism melted in Paul Robeson's ice box back in the small times. Racism is over like the NBA.

My kid is sick and we stayed home yesterday and we're staying home today. You know, "we" are staying home, as if I had to call my boss and tell his racist ass that I'm staying home with my ill offspring and will miss out on my two-hour commute and that whole office scene (I visited an office on Monday and was horrified). We had to stay home? No. The B stayed home and I am working from the couch and when she naps or plays the piano. Quote of the day from yesterday: "I know you're sick but you cannot play the piano with your knees." Anyway, we're home and she's watching the TeeVee because that's what you do when you're sick and she's watching Curious George and the narrator goes, "There's no job so hard that even a monkey can't do it." Or something...I'm forgetting. But the first thing I thought of with that line was my boy Barack Obama in the oval office. You know, monkey...hard job. C'mon! That's some funny racist shit [with a way too long and disjointed set up].

It's perfectly OK to poke racist, sexist, classist fun. Because it's funny, that's why! Seriously. Everybody knows that that racist, sexist, classist humor is the funniest humor and people are lying if they say otherwise.

I never really embraced racism because I was born post-race. But racism as a practice is just like wicked stale now. In this age of Tiger Woods, Ben Harper, Derek Jeter, Barack Obama, Mariah Carey, Lenny Kravitz, Saul "Slash" Hudson, fellow UCSC graduate Maya Rudolph, and me, Ty Hardaway--[Rich, clicky for that Mya Roudolph/bedbugs thing I was talking about in the car in the ghettos of Cambridge]--in the present era, "race" is totally and completely irrelevant anymore.

We long ago found new and better ways besides race and skin color to divide ourselves into groups for the purposes of cultural warfare? We now use money and intelligence. Mulattos are the new robber barons of American culture.

[Ed. note: Speaking of culture and race, I have received several emails asking me if and alluding that I'm the Blognigger. Uh, no. Here are the clues: First, I am 10 years older than the Blognigger (I still say "da bomb" and stuff). I've never been to Park Slope and have only even been to New York City a handful of times. Blognigger pwned Berkeley, I pwned Santa Cruz (and Claremont before that). And the last clue: He's damn good. Really, really good. Different people, obviously. Besides, to execute a concept piece where you're a participant in another person's site is way too complex--brilliant but complex. I am not the Blognigger.]

If you're still dividing based on skin color, you're using old some old-ass pre-computer finger-counting math. But this morning I heard "Natalie the racist from Winchester [VA]" on the radio and I was horrified by her old-school and overtly proud racism. And in this case my horror wasn't any sense of personal fright or danger, but my horror was that people like this are still crawling around the grout of American civilization in the year of our lord 2008. It was...kind of quaint and oddly amusing because I felt so evolved from that kind of thinking. She was single digit addition and subtraction to my vector and tensor analysis. Mac versus PC. Toyota versus GM. Blue versus Red. McCain versus Obama. That shit is so CLEAR now. Not to say she's not a dangerous motherfucker, but she was so the embodiment of this whole Sarah Palin phenomenon.

Racism is as prehistoric as hell. Or politics. Or religion. Racism is so dead it shits its pants and smells terrible.

Mulattos for Obama Unite - 2008

The Last Thing You See Before You Die

Auction Piece -- Embarcadero

[click above for larger]

Embarcadero, San Francisco

6-panel
20 x 20" image
23 x29" temporarily framed

Sick Day

Two New But Not For You

Client books:

One Year Later

From Cassady:

"Wow. Like a year ago I was visiting DC and had lunch with you and my sister in some diner in the weird township you live in (I'm trying to think of that Jim Carey movie where he lives in a town which is a movie set but he doesn't know it) on what I think was your birthday...and now--one year later--here we are.

As for the question of if you are a Professional Photographer/Blogger/Musician/Etc., that's an interesting problem. In the traditional sense as soon as you start getting PAID you're a pro...but I sympathize with your desire to remain known as an amateur.... God only knows what possessed me to decide to try to go to school to become a Professional Photo Hack...but this is the hand I've dealt (to myself) and now I'm in the thick of it and through the looking glass so to speak (and honestly very excited about realizing that my curse in life is to be an artist).

But where was I going with this anyway? Oh yes one year ago...a lot of things have changed and a lot more are about to change. The shit seems simultaneously poised to hit the fan AND get better, if that's possible. A lot of people are worried about The Depression and losing all of their collective 401K, but I'm as broke now as I was 10 years ago (or more) so it really hasn't hit home for me. I mean what's so bad about a Depression anyway, we all can sit around on the steps and talk shit and drink and not have to go to work, right? I mean maybe its time to think about growing a garden out back, buying a bike and feeding ourselves...instead of relying on Whole Foods and Wal*Mart to bring us our booty.

I'm just happy to have found that, given my current career path I'll never be rich, will constantly be tormented and will spend all of my life trying to be noticed by people who don't really give a shit. There's a certain calmness that comes over you when you finally realize that you've found that thing that you enjoy...I mean I can stop worrying about all of those 'other' things that come with being rich and famous, right?

But again I got off track, what I wanted to say was happy birthday, keep doing your thing AND thanks for pushing me in the right direction and shooting me straight...qualities which are hard to find these days.

Anyway Best of Luck and I'm sure you (and I) will have lots to say in the next month or so...."

Back to Ty:

Sure signs that you've become an artist:

- Realizing that one's curse in life is to be an artist.

- The realization that one will never be rich, will constantly be tormented, and will spend all of one's life trying to be noticed by people who don't really give a shit.

- The certain calmness that comes over you when you finally realize that you've found that thing that you enjoy.

No lie, son. I, too, am saddled with the inherent responsibility that I've been predetermined by the gods to make shit called "the art." Thanks a lot the gods. I am constantly tormented. I will never be rich or famous. And I will probably spend my entire life trying to be noticed by people who don't get my work and who cannot do art themselves if they were struck by lightning. But I keep making this shit called "the art" without target audience or retail intent. Sucks! And if you can escape it, Cass, do it now. Art sucks much. It's hard and it's baffling. It's murder and it's sorrow. It's never ever making what you wanted to make. It's trying to do the exact same thing for years and years and years. It's never making sense to anyone. It's always being 180 degrees wrong.

It's the best.

So yeah, fuck all the kids who lost their fortunes playing the market. I'll say it again, this so-called depression is only the great equalizer. No longer at the bottom of totem poles, we makers and creators are now the new elite. We encourage each other to push the remaining boundaries.

Cassady, thank you for your note and birthday wishes. Thank you for your kind words over time. Thank you for your questions about how I do stuff (because that is the hardest thing for me to do; explain what I do). Remember that I empathize with what you're going through. Alls I can say is: keep pushing. Keep in touch and keep pushing. I'll always be available to advise and critique.

It's funny. At this wedding this past weekend, Christine was introducing me to people as her "photography teacher." I know that was Christine just being kind but it was pretty weird. Her work is generally brilliant and I just try to be an honest admirerer. It's not like I've ever taught her anything (aside from using spit and t-shirts to clean lenses and to just get in your subjects' space). I was deeply humbled (and mortified) at the introduction though.

I guess it's about this community that we're part of and that we're building and that we're expanding. It's a Kingdom of Leisure in the New America.

"Make something. It's OK."

I went out to lunch with some of my dearest corporate world friends...let me correct that, some of my dearest and oldest corporate world friends took me out for the best birthday lunch ever and I came back to this in my snail and electronical inboxes:

- SoundCollege's: OBAMA: That's My DJ shirt" [clicky] great cotton]
- Gabe sent a dirty Sarah Palin joke. We've been going back and forth with this but he wanted to be careful he wasn't leaving a dirty joke on my "work phone" or anything.
- Rich says, "Make something. It's OK." is "quote of the decade." That means something to me. "Quote of the decade" is the quote of the decade.
- Dave says, "nudging is good."
- Gary sent a custom election video to me.

And Black Eyed Peas "Let's Get Retarded" is playing. Perfectly classic universe sync.

Ha-ha! And I was gonna do what I normally do: stall and filibuster the "take you out to lunch" emails until everyone forgets it ever came up and it's awkwardly like December and shit. It's so retarded in here!

Six Items Toward Homeostasis

Item #1:

"Who you tryin' to get crazy with, ese? Don't you know I'm loco?"

-Cypress Hill, 1993

Item #2:

Hell if Steve Jobs shouldn't be the goddamn president. He made his Oompa-Loompas at Apple make the "Genius feature." And I know, "genius?" Guy's got some hubris nuts, right? What...like he's ever been wrong? Ever? Steven "Mock Turtleneck" P. Jobs wrong? Bad timing, sure. Wrong? Nope . He even killed the PC thank goodness.

And I know...Genius button? Whatever. I was like that until I pressed it; totally dismissive. And. Then. ****BOOM****! Duh.

Item #3:

Two things for Dave MF Wave:

1) While you're scaring poo-butts down in S. Florida with your so-called "headphone music" I'm sitting here waiting for that shit. While you're, "Uh, Ty, I'll send it to you when it's mixed and finalized" and all, I'm waiting. While you're getting laid with your music, I'm waiting here with headphones silent. Hello? Who's your bro, Joe? Who will actually gets your shit? Who's waiting? But I suppose I cannot fault a dude for getting some with his beats and mixes. But I want to hear that shit.

2) I want to reserve the first order of your new t-shirt. Size L. American Apparel cotton. I'll even pay for it. I'll link to it here when you're done with your mixing and finalizing. Both versions.

Item #4:

This past weekend I was asked if I was a "professional photographer." I was also asked if I wanted to talk drums and percussion with some dude. Sigh! I also heard about a potential prodigy/genius underground beatmaker. You know the kind of guy who records stuff into the answering machine and has no intent for anyone to hear it. You know the type. And it's brilliant.

No! I am not a photographer. I am not a drummer. I am not a musician. Not a graphic designer. Not a writer. Not a blogger. I am not a shoe shiner. But as an artist I was/am hugely interested in hearing the stuff produced by the aloof beatmaker. I introduced myself to him, assured him everything was OK and followed up with two emailings. This excites me. I hope he makes contact.

I have some cameras and some computers and some instruments and some recording equipment and the whole goddamn interwebs. I like to make shit and it's there for the future gifting: [clicky]. That's what I do. I make shit and interact with people who make shit. To make more shit. Make something. It's OK.

Item #5:

I was in Red America this weekend. Admittedly I was nervous and attentive and very nice to people. This one fellow was all, "I know you from somewhere, don't I?" And I was like, "Was I mean to you? I hope not." It was weird..more odd than weird. I haven't been out to the country in a long while. But there was brilliance.

What was brilliant wasn't that huge McCain signs outnumbered huge Obama signs 3 to 1. What was brilliant was that a quarter of the huge signs were Obama signs. Huh? Typically there are no Deomcratic signs. But to have a black, socialist, Muslim, elitist, liberal sign? It was telling. This was Red America where there are still "W 2004" stickers around and that guy's universally dismissed. So people feeling emboldened enough (or desperate enough) to erect huge Obama signs (with his image on them) at all is amazing.

I'm not sure when it could have been declared as over but it's so over. It was officially over after the Palin pick but we can mark it in our notes as over after the Charlie Gibson interview revelations. It was downhill from there like a stone under the spell of that demon gravity.

Item #6:

I have to get back to the grind and make this book for a client. I have some ideas based on what I now know. I wish I could share this stuff with you. Good stuff. Proprietary though.

Sunday Worship: Wrapped Up & Bookended

Sunday Worship: Hotel Living

[Ed. note: Woah! Click and enlarge the image above and stare at it for a while. It will reveal something]

Sunday Worship: Bright Light Fright

Sunday Worship: American Legion Giggin'

Giggin'

Off to Gigs - Back Soon

Dear Middlespacers,

I'm off to perform gigs for a taste and won't be connected to the internets much this weekend (thank God). No, not hauling the musical equipment around this time (thank Allah). I will be hauling cameras and lighting equipment and such though. Maybe get some recording in too. We'll see (thank Buddha).

Back Monday with some new stuff though (maybe Sunday but that shit's all filled up too).

To keep yourself entertained, go to Hulu and watch Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Funniest stuff on the TeeVee. Or catch up on Achewood and Blognigger. I'm like a goddamn ad now. Or, just get your asses lost here:

[clicky]

Take the day off...on me (shalom). Keep fighting [clicky].

-Tyrone (in Barack's America)

Free Advice for Obama Campaign

Please get John Kerry out of the country. Please?! [clicky]

"John Kerry, shut the fuck up, dude!"

Obama campaign, if questioned, just point to our boy Joe McCain: [clicky] The news will love that one much more than that retard Kerry.

This is My 43 Birthday So Far

Stop blowing up my inbox with the, "Yo were da B-day post at, son!" emails. I'm a busy man. I had to go the petting zoo/pumpkin patch with the first grade. Busy like Ray Smuckles, that is.

Today I am 43. Whatever that means.

Cornelius Bear reminds me of the weird dreams I had last night and the period I lay awake worrying/wondering about American's future.

"Don't bother lying awake over this election or any other for that matter. Whatever is going to happen will happen. Interesting, yes. Losing sleep over it, no way, at least not for me. I do wonder how it will all turn out, we shall soon see. Just be prepared."

- My Wonderful Beautiful Intelligent Mother

1) "If the incident turns out to be a hoax, Senator McCain’s quest for the presidency is over, forever linked to race-baiting."

-Michelle Malkin

2) Police sources tell KDKA that a campaign worker has now confessed to making up a story that a mugger attacked her and cut the letter "B" in her face after seeing her McCain bumper sticker.

3) Senator Barack Obama “has proved that he is the right choice,” writes The New York Times’s editorial board.

Ducks. In a row.

Yet I still wonder/worry...but, it was the best advice I've ever received:

Peace
Just Be Prepared

So It Has Come To This

Untitled Leftover

Maybe Worth Sharing Maybe I'll Print It Since a Shipment of Ink & Paper Came Today

That's What That Feeling Is

So this nutbag in New Mexico did this:

"Marcia Stirman, the chairwoman of a New Mexico women's GOP group, didn't expect everyone to get so upset about a letter to the editor she sent to a local paper. But apparently calling the Democratic presidential nominee "a Muslim socialist" makes people mad these days."

I've heard Barry called a Muslim. And I've heard him called a socialist. But this is the first I've heard him called "a Muslim socialist." Damn!

Then that kook in Minnesota, Michele Bachmann, had to flap off about Barry being "unAmerican." Ha! Even the goddamn GOP fundraising committee dumped her loopy ass. I mean, who had EVER heard of Elwyn Tinklenberg before this? IN FACT, I JUST GAVE SOME MONEY TO Elwyn Tinklenberg. [clicky]

Even that Matt Drudge is stumped. He used to have such keen insights. Even Greenspan admitted his greedy shit was "a fault." My bad, right? Shit, even great and intelligent discussion of race, status, and language at the Blognigger. Join in.

Do you feel it? Are you feeling it? I feel it. You know what I feel? "I feel we got a righteous wind at our backs here." <-- Barry said that. I feel it brothers and sisters. I fucking feel it. It's like we're driving the snakes to the river with our sticks.

Oh, this is the New America.

How to Feel Better About Your Life: Dissonance Reduction

Tom Scharpling mentioned this at the very end of his October 21st show and it makes a lot of sense. Here's what he said, to paraphrase:

"Go out and vote next Tuesday...for president. Actually, go out and vote for Barack Obama. If you plan to vote for John McCain, just stay home. Really, don't bother."

Huh? WTF? That's not so nice, right?

I have a better idea and it makes perfect sense. If you want to be a "winner" then you should vote for the Barry. He's gonna win. Even if you had planned for voting for Pappy, you should really vote for Holmes. You'll feel better. You'll feel like you actually did something; part of the solution.

Just some free advice. Don't be a loser for the next four or eight years.

Sure it's bandwagon hopping, but why not? Remember, I called Patriots loss last year (apparently I sold my soul for that -- dammit!).

Hockey Mom is Just Like Me and You

Small town, traditional, "real-American" values:

The full shopping list for Ms. Palin and her family, according to records of the Federal Election Commission, looks like this:

• $75,062.63 spent at Neiman Marcus on Sept. 10.

• $41,850.72 to Saks Fifth Avenue in New York on Sept. 10.

• $7,575.02 to Saks Fifth Avenue in St. Louis on Sept. 10.

• $5,102.71 to Bloomingdale’s in New York on Sept. 10.

• $789.72 to Barney’s New York on Sept. 10.

• Charges of $4,396.94 and $512.92 at Macy’s in Minneapolis on Sept. 10.

• $4,537.85 to Macy’s in Minneapolis on Sept. 22.

• $349.50 to Lord & Taylor in New York on Sept. 25.

• $4,902.08 to Atelier New York, a men’s clothing boutique, on Sept. 10.

• Two separate charges of $98 to Pacifier, a high-end baby store in Minneapolis, on Sept. 10 and Sept. 25.

• $98.50 to Steinlauf & Stoller, a sewing supply store, in New York on Sept. 25.

• $133 to the Gap in Minneapolis on Sept. 25.

But not a listing from Wal-Mart.

It's This One

click images above for tru-color

Nikon (28mm) #s 25