Mope Squad America! Sarah Palin is Perfect

First of all, Joe Biden totally smashed in that debate last night. We all know that. That is not debatable. There is no "other" victory because Sarah Palin didn't throw up on the lectern and she spoke in a form of English. There's no issue there. It was the smartest senior in the school debating the home-schooled cheerleader freshman. It was the Montgomery county league B-level champs playing the U.S. Olympic basketball team. Don't even ask me about that stupid debate.

The Coen Bros. couldn't create a character like Sarah Palin. Tom Robbins couldn't write a character like Sarah Palin. Andy Warhol could not mold a character like Sarah Palin. Karl Rove tried to manufacture a character like Sarah Palin with Geroge W. Bush, but he didn't get close to Sarah Palin.

Sarah Palin is--listen very closely--perfect. Sarah Palin is absolutely perfect. Here me out. When Sarah Palin looks into the camera with that dumb ass smile, that weak hairdo, those stripper pumps, those glasses, and that WHOLLY manufactured and brilliantly-acted accent of hers and says, "Joe Six-Pack and Hockey Moms. We have to ban together and say, never again. To Wall Street." Do you really think that was about Wall Street? Joe Six-Pack and Hockey Moms don't do Wall Street. There are no "investments" on Main Street except for the odd Chrysler PT Cruiser here or a propane BBQ there...maybe a new boat. No what Sarah Palin was saying is as follows:

"Hey. Look. I'm one of you. I'm white. I'm dumb. I'm as prejudiced and narrow and bible-thumping as you. Just like you. You know who I'm talking to. Let's ban together and rid ourselves of these pointy headed know-it-alls who think they know just everything. It's time to take this our shit back. This is our America. Our America will bomb the shit out of the rest of the world, and make this the paradise it was supposed to be. America is ours! The world is ours! USA! God! You betcha! "

That is what she was saying.

Sarah Palin is John Roberts, Strom Thurmond, and Dick Cheney rolled into one robotic, talk-box tool of that whole vast right wing conspiracy. It's fucking scary, man! Her job is to tell the conservatives and the evangelicals and the very frightened that everything will be "just A-OK with the Mavericks at the trigger." They are the county's new sheriff.

Yes. She garnered a whole lot of attention and sucked a lot of people in then delivered last night. What debate, Sarah Palin had talking points to read. As planned.

Like I said, Sarah Palin totally smashed in that debate last night. We all know that. That is not debatable. There is no "other" victory because Sarah Palin didn't throw up on the lectern and she spoke in a form of English. There's no issue there. It was the smartest senior in the school debating the home-schooled cheerleader freshman. It was the Montgomery county league B-level champs playing the U.S. Olympic basketball team. Don't even ask me about that stupid debate.

----------------------------------------

Mope Squad America! Archives