And if there are two things that "Southern
America" dislikes, it's racial and liberal. That's me. Sorry, that's just what I've become. It's not a bad thing, it's just the future. I'm well liked by some people and will be well liked by everybody in Barack Obama's America.So it came to a surprise that I received "an exclusive offer" to "come enjoy the best the South has to offer." Yes. In the mail. The U.S. Postal Mail. I received a subscription offer for Garden & Gun - 21st Century Southern America. And not the tiny 4-color card offer. No. I received the 18-page high-concept, full-on graphics-on-a-Mac brochure. And I can guarantee you it's NOT because of my subscriptions to Harper's and The New Yorker. And it is not paired with my ACLU membership.
How did I get on this list? How did I get on this list? What gives.
From the pictures, I can say though, that this is some great living, y'all. These people have some old money, son. Lots of it too. Beautiful homes and lots of guns. They hunt foxes, for crying out loud. There is actually an article on "The Perfect Mint Julep." I'm totally serious. Also, "How to Cook a Whole Hog, " "Virginia's Oldest Beagle Pack," and, "Summer Jubilee on the 'Bama Coast." Things a gentleman like me need to KNOW! [Ed. note: I've just been told that "'Bama" is short for Alabama not "Obama" and the Obama Coast of Hawaii -- my bad]
I'm so in! I'm totally going to subscribe (or at least I'm going to get my free issue)! Shit yeah, to get on this list is golden. Poor, black, Jew, 'Pino, liberal, Californian, artist redneck! I am the New America. I mean, seriously. First I have Charlie Crist and Tom Feeney calling me and now this. Goddamn, son!
If I knew living in the South (note capitalization) was gonna rock so goddamn hard, I would have taken up hunting a long time ago.
And, hell yeah! There's even an article on "Ben Hardaway and his Legendary Hounds." [clicky]
Represent! Yeeeeeeee-hawwwwwwww!
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