On Ignorance

So I go into the 7-11 in small town Pennsylvania and I look around for a New York Times. You know how I roll. I don't see a New York Times but my 90 year-old companion (the father of my wife) knows that this particular 7-11 sells the New York Times. So I ask.

I ask the helpful proprietor of the 7-11 if they had the New York Times. The Indian (dot-not-feather) proprietor fellow says, "No Times today." I can accept that. But he adds, "It's a holiday." He says this twice since my 90 year-old companion didn't quite believe that logic (all Ivy League university professor emeritus and shit). So the proprietor fellow says it yet again, "No Times today, it's a holiday."

So I laughed that off and went off looking for apple juice because my child has requested that I bring her some apple juice back from the 7-11. I take the apple juice to the register and the Indian (dot not feather) proprietor woman says, "No Times today, it's a holiday." I reply, of course, "I believe that's already been established by a factor of like eight." I added, of course, "But the news, as you should know, never takes a holiday."

She (the Indian dot-not-feather woman) says, "Uggg! You're so ignorant!" Shocking, I know! To be called "ignorant" by a store-keep is wildly shocking. But I immediately replied ('cuz I'm quick like that), "Ah, but you're the one working at 7-11...on a holiday." You should have seen her eyes. She was pissed! I thought she was going to ask me to leave (but it's 7-11).

Now to be honest, I do believe she was using "ignorant" as a simple insult rather than a specific one; a throwaway that I've heard Indians (dot not feather) use before.

So my 90 year-old companion decides to slum it with an Philadelphia Inquirer or some third-tier rag like that. I add the newspaper to my apple juice purchase and I say, clearly and calmly like Barack, "I'd like you to bag that." She bags it. She angrily thrusts the receipt my way and I say, "You my place my receipt in the bag."

Damn! I all upper casted her dot-not-feather ass. And she understood.

Ha! Look at the ignorant guy looking for a New York Times on a holiday. We just drove over to Starbucks and got one. Since news never takes a holiday.