[w/apologies & credit to Zefrank]
Oh Face! writes:"I'd gladly where some Mope garb, but the two choices suck donkey shlong. Come on man, for someone as creative as you are, this is what you offer us?"
- From "New Middlespace T-Shirts" post [clicky]
I guess I'm kind of torn here, thus a response. On one hand I'm happy you'd "where" some of the products of my mind. That's cool. On the other hand, I feel saddened that I have to walk you through the product line. But thank you for calling me creative (and calling me out). That makes me well up a little.
Indeed there are at least three things I am not very good at: 1) Singing; 2) Illustrating ; and, 3) T-Shirt making. Thus most MopeGarb™ [just trademarked that shit BTW] is quite simple. Simply crap! I know. But, have you considered this, maybe it's intentional crap. I know, sly like a fox, middlespacers.
I realize that since I can't make t-shirts I have to make 'em simple and *gasp* with a touch of irony. C'mon?, "Stop Having Babies" is a goddamn classic fun and you know it. Three words that will never get you laid. And, "Hitler Hates Me." Please! That's fucking genius in terms of nuance. Think on that: Hitler hates me. That's so XFL, right?
With reference to the "Hardaway Family Reunion" shirt, I'm sticking to my guns though (which is probably a horrible pun in this case). I went into this particular project with the following mindset: How would someone with absolutely no experience set out to make a family reunion t-shirt? Seriously. My aunt would make that shirt [clicky]. Besides have you read the very sad case information? [clicky] Think about this for one minute (or do I need to get Malcolm to write a book for you?).
Bottom line: So I decided to meet you half way because when you "where" my gear, I want you to be happy (and get laid). And I don't want to sound/feel defensive. So I have a deal:
If five Middlespacers to challenge me to make the best middlespace t-shirt ever I will do it for you. I'll even count Oh Face, who already indicated that they would "where" MopeGarb™, as one. So only four more people need to step up to the Great Middlespace T-Shirt Challenge. That is, if I receive a total of five t-shirt challenges I guarantee that I will put the effort into making a shirt that is so irresistibly perfect that if you aren't compelled to buy one (so you can "where" it), I will buy you the t-shirt of your choice.
Pepsi challenge, bitches! Even better than and more clever than, if you can even believe it, this perfect but never made gem:
Donkey schlong indeed.
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