Friend* 9:23 a.m., subject line: "Request for Creative Shit": Hey, I have a request for some creative shit from you guys. We got some new clocks in the office. Four clocks we're going to put in our lobby. They were going to put world times like, "Los Angeles, "Tokyo," "London," and "New York" -- you know to demo our worldwide scope.Notice that I haven't written back on any of this bullshit. Radio silencio, yuns. I started a reply emailing though. It went pretty much like this:
But I suggested we put something funny or "irreverent." Do you have any ideas what we should put up? Help a brutta owt, yo! It can be odd locations, states of mind, or whatever. Totally saved the day again. [Note: this was sent to three dudes]
Friend 11:05 a.m.: Hey, Ty. Did you get the clock thing? It got kicked back, think I had Rich's email wrong. Ideas?
Friend 12:23 p.m.: Hey, dood. Here's Aaron's suggestions:Time it is / Time it feels like / Time you wish it were (Broken on 5:00) / Time until "last call"Funny shit, waddaya say?
Neurotic people / Crazy people / Lazy People / Dangerous People.
Reality / The Past / The Future / The Existential / The _________________.
The Right Time / The Wrong Time / The Time in an Hour / The time an hour ago.
Hello (EST) / Howdy (Mountain Time) / Hey Dude (West Coat Time) / Ni Hao (Hong Kong) / Aloha (Hawaii Time) and so forth....
Waddaya say?
I know, I didn't get back with you. Here's the problem and why I haven't suggested anything. Here's where you get a lecture from me for doing something totally dumb. It's just way too fucking stupid, dude! So forced. Fucking clocks. Labelling clocks? Clocks? What? C'mon...you're putting me on, right? Part of some interwebs project, right? Else, think about what you're asking. Seriously, this is what I'm hearing: "Hey Ty, help me make funny labels for my company's lobby clocks."
What?! Really? I'm funny clock guy? Am I the Hawaiian shirt guy on casual Friday too? Is that me?
["Friend"]. ["Friend"]! Hello? "The Right Time" and "The Wrong Time"? When did this happen to you? What's next, "You're Really Early," "You're Just Early," "You're Right On Time," and "You're Late." Is this a Garfield guest appearance on Dilbert nightmare or what? Clocks? Our clients are our most important asset.
I have only this to say about your corporate lobby clocks: fuck your clocks, dude!
Ty's official suggestion:Fuck your fucking clocks!
But I instead of sending that emailing, I decided to post this thread here. I'm still not going to make any damn clocks suggestion or even reply to him. I'm going to close my eyes and pretend he didn't ask me that weak ass shit. "Friend," let's just pretend this never happened, OK? What happens on the interwebs, stays on the interwebs.
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* I'll refer to this friend as "Friend" since this shit is so embarrassing. I wouldn't anyone to know that "Clock Friend" is Dave.
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