After sitting at my table watching every mope from wherever put paper on my doorstep, look what I ended up making because I can guarantee you, I do not want your coupon for housecleaning, dry cleaning, or Chinese food. No! I really don't want cable TeeVee. If you checked your list, you'd probably read the part about where I already have it. I don't want the free Gazette or a new telephone directory. I got the Google! Don't leave it because it's going into the recyc before I even read it.
Sometimes, for giggles, I baffle them and yell, "No!" from the window all shaking my head and making the arm gesture that an umpire would make to indicate
safe. Or I chase them down the block and give 'em their shit back. "Hi, I don't want the paper you left at my house."
I know, it's like the
Ted Kaczynski shirt, right? [scroll down when you get there] But just leave me (and my American property) alone, please.
Sometimes, for giggles, I baffle them and yell, "No!" from the window all shaking my head and making the arm gesture that an umpire would make to indicate safe. Or I chase them down the block and give 'em their shit back. "Hi, I don't want the paper you left at my house."
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