Deadhead & Gangbanger Special
I asked my State Trooper friends about race and crime.
Some data, albeit anecdotal, but it's still data:
My white State Trooper friend says that about 85 percent of black people he pulls over will at least allude to skin color during the traffic stop versus zero percent of white people he stops.
My black State Trooper friend says that about 25 percent of the black people he pulls over will at least allude to skin color during the traffic stop versus about five percent of white people he stops.
For similar traffic offenses regardless of trooper color, the majority of black people will cop an attitude about the selective persecutions by Johnny Law while most white people accept the fact that driving 75 miles per hour in a 55 zone can get you cited. White people will try to get out of a ticket through name-drop or boob flash, but they usually do not cry societal foul and the understand that the quicker the transaction the better. Nobody enjoys a moving violation.
While there have been real and clearly documented instances of overt racism on the part of state and other highway enforcement professionals, the myth of "Driving While Black" is largely over-hyped. It is not like policemen want to be fired or police departments want to be sued. In fact, pulling over black people is basically like walking on eggshells say my friends. Controlling for all other factors, traffic patrol officers are probably a touch nicer to black people than white people. Well, "more professional" probably substitutes for "nicer" in this instance.
But if you are 15 years-old, 4 foot 10 inches tall, and you're driving 90 fucking miles an hour in a new stolen Lexus in a school zone while "Cutty" and "Shay-Shay" are smoking "blunts" and flashing "signs", the chances are quite good that you're not going to get a free pass no matter who the fucking president is. You are going to get an aluminum shampoo. And it's not because you're black. It's because you just led 11 police cars on a high speed chase until you ran out of gas in Pennsylvania.
If you give the police a good reason to fuck with you, the police will take said opportunity to fuck with you. That's not racism, that's the law. I thought we all knew that cops hated gang colors and stupid behaviors.
Likewise, my trooper friends say that if they roll up on a 1972 VW "Westy" microbus going 28 miles per hour in the fast lane and cars are zooming past to the right, bus all spewing black exhaust with Grateful Dead and obligatory "Save Mother Earth" stickers, they feel as if they have to flip a coin to determine if it's worth the hours of searching, documenting, field sobriety tests, booking, and bullshit rhetoric they have to endure because the chance of finding marijuana is 100%. Often there is the felonious possession of Ecstasy, mushrooms, and acid as well. The have to bring the dog out to sniff the bus.
If Jimmy Trooper is anywhere near the end of his shift, he really wants to let those retarded fake-hippies slide even though the dumb motherfuckers are basically a rolling advertisement for possession. And they smell bad. And their father's lawyers are total pricks who will come to court with all sorts of tricks.
If you give the police a good reason to fuck with you, the police will take said opportunity to fuck with you. That's not fascism, that's the fucking law. I thought everyone knew that cops hated tie-dye.
People. Stop acting incredulous that somebody kicked you in the ass when you decided to wear your "Kick Me - in the ass!" t-shirt to a frat party. What were you thinking? Have some responsibility for yourself. Not to excuse all police but if you behave like someone who is breaking the law, chances are that you are breaking the law and, therefore, your chances of being treated like a criminal when caught are very high. No do-overs or "just kiddings" with the law. And quit acting like the cops planted shit on you. Niggas got video on the dash and shit, please!
If you are black or if you are white and you basically ask the police to pull you over and fuck with you, the police will pull you over and fuck with you. That's their fucking job. Open your mouth and you just piss them off and you will get even more fucked with. It's never funny.
If you want to feel as if you live in a fair and equitable society that is happy-happy pluralistic and free, it is your responsibility, your job, to stop being a mopetard. Ask any off-duty cop you know personally. They can straighten you out on this shit.
Quit frontin'!
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