Ty and Grayman Review "Green Zone"

Middlespace Cadet Grayman and I went to the movies like Siskel & Ebert At the Movies and shit. This is the second movie that Grayman and I attended together. The first one Grayman didn't really care for as it was all about the "art process" and things of that nature (which I liked a great deal).

So this time Grayman picked the damn movie and he likes the action-adventure genre. So here it is:

-------------------GRAYMAN BEGIN-------------------

Saturday Ty and I (Grayman) went to see "Green Zone" with Matt Damon. I had heard the film was worth seeing due to its extremely realistic depiction of Baghdad. I had also heard the storyline was horrible. Prior to the movie starting Ty cracks me up when he asked if I would give him a thumbs up when something realistic happened and thumbs down when something unrealistic happened.

As Ty loves music I love a good action film so off we went.

Grayman's Likes:

1. The depiction of Baghdad and life in the Green Zone (later called the International Zone) was dead on. The absolute insanity of folks being in a firefight in one part of the city and then other folks lounging by the pool and drinking beer in another was both correct and sad.

2. Matt Damon playing the role of a Chief Warrant Officer. Hollywood generally ignores this rank in favor of Sergeants or Captains / Majors. Google it if you are interested in the origin of this rank and its purpose in the armed forces.

3. The movie does an OUTSTANDING job of showing how people tend to blindly follow intelligence without questioning its origin. The part of the film where Matt Damon's character questions the intelligence is HILARIOUS and SO TRUE the way he is verbally shot down by the Major General.

4. The movie accurately depicts the COMPLETE STUPIDITY of the decision to disband the Iraqi Army and Government.

5. The interplay is interesting between Matt Damon's character symbolizing the average American who thought the purpose of the invasion was WMD whereas Greg Kinnear's character symbolizing the Neocons when asked about WMD doesn't really care about that because now that Iraq has been conquered he has more important things to do. Greg Kinnear's character believes that the reasons that motivated the invasion do not matter -- the U.S. is here and it's time to get some work done.

6. Brendan Gleeson does such a good job showing how much cultural knowledge matters -- something the U.S. is woefully ignorant of. The end of the film where the incoming government argues so much that nothing is accomplished is also realistic, classic, and sad.

7. The scene where the Matt Damon and his Soldiers panic while at a traffic jam is classic and so true. If you see the film you will realize that this situation is why the military has a non-lethal weapons kit.

Grayman's Dislikes:

1. Matt Damon's behavior at the beginning of the film when they raid the first safe house in local vehicles would have gotten him relieved. He lost focus on his mission which would have had his chain of command lose faith in his ability and he would have been relieved in a heartbeat.

2. Depiction of the Special Operations Forces (SOF) as being in on the conspiracy. SOF has a hell of a tough job to do and this depiction of these dedicated individuals was not flattering.

3. Matt Damon's character magically re-assigned to the CIA with a wave of the magic wand? Unrealistic.

Overall I enjoyed the film. The story isn't the best but the film does a good job depicting certain aspects of the whole Iraq debacle. I give the film four Middlespace Stars out of a possible five.

Over to Ty!

-------------------GRAYMAN END-------------------

∆∆ This is the intermission ∆∆

-------------------Ty Begin-------------------

Thanks Grayman.

On Saturday, Grayman and I (Ty) had a big, hot, man-movie date. We went to see the action-adventure genre movie Greed Soan with the guy who played "Leo" in The Matrix, Matt Damien.

I thought the guy that played the head Neocon man (Craig Kinnel) reminded me of my wife's brother (James). Not totally the way he looks but his mannerisms and words he used and all.

I remembered thinking that I haven't had "butter" on my popcorn since I was probably like 10 years-old. I ate way too much buttery popcorn!

Before the movie I was wondering if we had to do that guy thing where when two guys go to a movie man-date they leave a space for jackets and popcorn and stuff so people don't mistake them as being homosexuals not that there's anything wrong with that. "Hey we can't be gay homosexuals because we sit with our legs apart and there is a space between us in case a hot woman wants to have a devil's threesome!" But we sat together, side by side, and sometimes even had BOTH of our hands in the buttery popcorn AT THE SAME TIME!! Because there's nothing wrong with that.

I haven't had a fountain drink in a million years and a movie "medium" size is fuckin' gigantinormous! It has to be like 24 or 28 ounces. A large must come in a tanker truck.

The woman who played "Lawrie Dayne" (uh, hello Judith Miller) also played Beadie on The Wire and Holly on The Office. I think she's pretty cute in a quirky sort of way. We should have left a space for her to sit between us (she would have probably thought we were "together"). I would not have a threesome though (unless she brought her BFF, Patricia Clarkson). Just kidding!

In the Movie, seeing former President George W. Bush, Jr. do the whole "Mission Accomplished" thing on the aircraft carrier he supposedly flew to himself (wink) was totally nostalgia-inducing. I miss him so much. Now we have Mr. High Falutin' Inclusive & Conciliatory President all "...doin' it for the American people" and stuff. At least "W" was funny as hell stumbling over the words he tried to read and saying stuff like "Bring 'em on" and "Saddam tried to kill my daddy" and stuff. Grown man saying "daddy" is funny business, don. Sigh...I do miss him.

I understand that Greed Soan is "inspired" by Rajiv Chandrasekaran (WashPost, doy) and his book about the Real Greed Soan and that creepy ass kid who sees Bruce Willis but the surprise ending is that Bruce Willis is really a ghost, The Crying Game, I believe it's called.

But speaking of Indians, the very best thing about the Greed Soan film wasn't Matt Damien even though he's the heart throbbing type like his "partner" Bam Aflect but the very best is the character named "Freddy." "Freddy" is played by British actor (shhh, he's Scottish!) called Khalid Abdalla who was also in director Paul Greengrass' movie United 93 about that plane that Dick "serious as a heart attack" Cheney shot down on 7/11. In United 93 Khalid Abdalla played hijacker Ziad Jarrah - a very bad guy. In Greed Soan he's the good guy with one leg who is kind of really a bad guy who shoots Cheney in the face on a hunting trip in the end. He goes, "My bad, dude" with that Arabian accent.

I did notice the theater owner come and sit through most of the movie so it must have been pretty good. He only checked his phone once.

I give Greed Soan ten-hundred billion Middlespace Stars out of a possible five. Go see it, Matt Damien is a very talented actor who looks like Marky Mark.

Got another movie for us to review? Send tickets and we'll do a whole MST3K-type thing or act it out for the site.

-------------------Ty End-------------------