Build it up, tear it down. Ride your donkey into town.
I was having a discussion with Big Dave Wave yesterday about a film he had just finished, Rat Meat Chief. I had to remind him that, as the creator, he was "way too close to it" and was only able to see the errors and the places where he would have done things differently right now. He probably won't "see" this project for its brilliance for years, if ever. It's too bad, but it's the way it is. I know this from experience.
I had to tell him that what I saw, fresh, was great work. I saw a thoughtful, well made, and compelling piece of work. I was drawn in, I was intellectually stimulated.
I saw the product, not the process. And herein lies the creator's dilemma.
Process. I am addicted to process. I always have to be making. Something. Anything. I cannot seem to get enough of making. If I have a half-hour where nothing is being produced I am convinced that it's over. That I have drained the very last drop of whatever so-called "creativity" I had. This happens so often it's frightening.
Product. I just can't wrap my head around it sometimes. But...I have moments. Who cares, anyhow? The mode of audience is always going to be zero.
As a good friend keeps saying, "Keep producing, man. Keep producing."
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