four in the morning is

four in the morning is probably

the very worst time to be awake

too late for thought-less sleeping

too early for the distraction of activity



four in the morning is haunted

just memories and longing

thinking and remembering

everything so desperate to forget



four in the morning is missing

everyone and everything you

want and need and lost and broke

every mistake every regret on repeat



four in the morning is hope

that you will get it right this time

that there is a path

to fulfill a fading destiny



four in the morning is sad

and lonely and embarrassing

every error illuminated like

the summer dawn's early light



four in the morning is deep

and wide and cold and wet

drowning under thickening ice

heart beating in your ears



four in the morning is the realization

that the past is gone and

the future is uncertain and

this thing called "present" never fully exists



four in the morning is a mirror

held before you like a

real-time documentary of

the horrors of a life completely wasted



four in the morning is probably

the very deepest of solitude

too quiet for the drama of sobbing

too still for flagellation and redemption