I
This life these choices
Front end or back it is
up to you where you
want to expend the effort
Those are choices for you
Yet the destination always
will remain the same
no matter the course
Downslid and upsliding
Doing all of this again
on a loop played only once so far
In real time since forever
I end where I begin
Absent of light or darkness
with nowhere to go
and never anything to do
II
We make what we are
We’ve made who we’ve become
Appropriation of a handful of pieces
from millions of jigsaw puzzles
Self-selected self-taught
self-directed self-helped
We are as much as one
as we are all, all alone
These are the decisions we make
have made will make
that chisel the marble
from rock to not
When you pilot the airliner
Auto-pilot is disengaged
during the hardest parts
Training and experience still matter
III
Had I trusted myself more
Had I taken a step outside
Had I followed my own advice
Had I continued to survive
The final page of the final act
Unfinished like Schubert’s 8th in b minor
Unwritten and unmolested
Canvas blank and un-stretched
Step-by-step closer to
a different sort of singularity
Independent fully of systems and structures
All alone in the crowds
Wave of sea wave of sound
Crashing waves of humanity
Too much is nearly never too much enough
The greats know when to bow or flame out
Tuesday
46
Thursday
44
like I was saying
hiding in plain sight
or in plane sight
watching
just watching
interactions I have excluded myself from
but it puts me in an awkward place
people talking
exchanging
obviousness
this place is a bee hive
I can do it
I have done it
I know how to do it really well
but I’ve never particularly enjoyed it
(yet it can appear as if I’m in my element)
those who know me best know the performance
they watch the performance
they give notes
they hone it
I’m their puppet
Tuesday
Monday
Friday
Wednesday
Tuesday
39
&
running and hiding from any and every thing
except for the unhealthiest competition with perfection
an entire life and career squandered on no-win propositions
fearless and careless & foolish and genius
theories of ideals embraced by no one past present or future
never yet reason to question motivation
there is always the end game though
the very same ultimately for each and every
but the one thing that can ever be said of it is
he rode it until all the wheels fell off
Monday
Sunday
Friday
Thursday
34 - Attic Day 2015
This year's headphone appropriation soundtrack: [clicky]
I (re)connected with a bunch of you this week
Look back
Move on
Happy Attic Day 10
Tuesday
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