Wednesday
End of the Slide (thankyouverymuch)
Recap 2022
the shortest day demands the shortest story
unless that story is about the dark then
the longest night demands the longest story
they are now saying that people like people
because of who they are and not possibly
only because of their contributions
which makes so little sense because
that is simply not enough data to
base confident attributions otherwise
i thought that there would be fewer
things that i did not understand
at the age i have become
but the more i know the more
i come to understanding that
i know significantly nothing
privilege is a concept i cannot
comprehend because it blinds
everything in its golden pathway
who are we and who am i
in particular because
how does one get to be here
through fight and struggle
through wit and determination
to be the very best all the time
the right and the wrong
and the morally ambiguous
and the all too easily justifiable
forces us into positions to defend
for right or wrong
but we are data bound nonetheless
with the weight of history and
the weight of entire populations
we stand for what we believe
so here we are indeed
alone and all together now
this is the us we created
the longest night demands the longest story
unless this story is about the light then
the shortest day demands the shortest story
2022 the end
Friday
Knowledge (From Where) - Attic Day 2022
From where does the art come?
Is it a this-for-that transaction?
or is it sometimes borne from
pain
trauma
shame
suffering
OR
Is art simply an individualized form of
self expression for awkward people
to drop hints and clues of
who they really are?
There is pleasure and there are pleasures
Experiences individualized and as
customized as anything
Curated to within
a gasp of life
Inspiration being something more valuable than gold
I know what it is I do
I am simply a perfectionist
Wednesday
Monday
balance
who is to say that we
did not all die already
and all that remains is
stardust and light shards
but i guess that would be
what the crazy people say
the ones we ridicule
as uninformed
it is all a matter
of equilibrium and
how well we balance scales
physical and metaphorical
after all, the culture you
have created is extremely
specific and exclusive
sensitive and superior
Friday
Monday
The Camaraderie of Incredulous People
The Camaraderie of Incredulous People
Today I am a fifty-seven-year-old half-black filipino jew male
living in the united states of america — he/him hee/haw har/har
It is the year 2022 and my
to be a failed
I exist on oatmeal, coffee, tea, and index cards
I see through the knots in the knots
I exist on the blood and sweat of the youth
I see through the knots in the knots
I exist on the blood and sweat of the youth
and on the backs and graves of ancestors
Friday
Middlespace Kingdom
There’s a dude I’ve recently noticed in the area. Sometimes sleeping sitting upright in Starbucks, sometimes hanging outside Panera Bread. But never bothering anybody. Not a peep. Not a second glance. It appears as if he has no place to stay and his stuff is meticulously sectioned into a shopping cart. He smartly stays a good one block buffer from anything residential. He is safely existing under our safe haven umbrella. He knows. He can’t even raise a voice or talk back to anyone or he’d be sent. He has to be safe. He has to fit in and be unproblematic. We’ve always had the unhoused in our midst. Always. But very few get to stay for too long. Goddamn, do I feel for the man, these people. This very well could be any of us. I have so much empathy but…what on earth can I do, slip them twenties? The bad people say, run them out of town. The good people say fund the support services. Nobody says buy them a sandwich or a cup of coffee. But what could I do? I’m just trying to survive too. So, I always make eye contact and I say hello with this gentleman. No disrespect. He knows very well I can’t do anything for him but maybe he appreciates the earnest hello. He has seen it all. He sees it all.
Wednesday
Thursday
Wednesday
Borne
This horrible side of me
borne of traumas ancient
and mostly self-imposed
is not the side I ever intended
to be in the documentary
A brand so well conceived
and performed that the
bit was bought long ago
when it was off off Broadway
featuring unknowns for scale
Old like the poetic trope
about life being some sort
of maze that one must
navigate in order to survive
this burning garbage barge
As with many amputees
there remains a keen
sensation of the missing
pieces feeling exactly as
they always should
Thursday
Wednesday
Field Mowing Day 2022 (October 04, 2022)
make precious so
that they can
create self identity
for me it
was always making
myself precious first
despite other considerations
i’m the hero
in this story
not focused on
my own greatness
the world will
discover and bear
witness in the
shadows of masters
Tuesday
Field Mowing Day 2022 (October 04, 2022)
corners and edges
reassessing all notions
taking peeks from peaks
discover meaning
from your important people
reciprocation
nothing is special
i am not a fun person
these are some lessons
finding powers in
giving all powers away
is so powerful
just who are these people
and how did they get this way
i often wonder
Monday
Field Mowing Day 2022 (October 04, 2022)
Field Mowing Day
and nights filled by
darkness ever increasing
Slides only go downward
because physics and such
it is easier that way
All dimensions torn into two
because that is exactly what
field mowing is all about
The explorations and
reconciliations of all the
thresholds and boundaries
Monday
Weight
We live in complicated times in a complicated world
Where in an effort to make things easier everything is consequentially more difficult
Atmospheric pressure from all sides equally and persistently
Causing so much stress on systems (revealed to be more fragile than advertised)
That an organic shutdown occurs where flight become fight
And fight becomes self-inflicted performative trauma pornography
Solids turning into gasses and gasses evaporating into liquids
For the socials and for the antisocials alike but I digress…
We live in a complicated world in complicated times
Where in an effort to make everything happen nothing will ever happen
Saturday
The Burden of Superiority
This is a Very Deep Place
On one hand you do know that everything will be fine
(it is important to keep this on loop until believed)
Oh, no, believe me, this is a really odd thing for me too
(and it’s actually really embarrassing)
After all I have already proven to be the very best
(historically the strongest of all)
I know my legend I know my worth I know my value
(there is a certain burden of superiority)
//
I guess it all comes down to having certain basic needs met
And attitudes matching behaviors as the psychologists say
feeling loved
necessary
wanted
important
respected
//
I have held it in for so long that letting it all go is new and frightening
A thimbleful of brain chemicals slightly but perceivably off kilter
Maybe I finally actually broke it
the damn finally burst
it’s a passing of a baton
it's an end game thought processes
I have reached a logical conclusion
//
Maybe it is possible to give everything away and be left with nothing
(but that’s how we build the world we always wanted)
Maybe one can replace oneself and no longer have any self
(a self-inflicted self-retirement program or sorts)
Ok, are we done with this nonsense yet?
(this is way too dramatic and self-sabotaging)
Now…let’s find our way back to where we belong
(greatness personified)
Friday
Reissue Friday: The Modicum of Decorum
The Musical Innards of Jazz
Spaceman Named God
Sisko Kid
With My Love
California Report
Fidelity to the Regime
KodoSapien
We Learn Slow
Bad Motherfucker
All is Bright
Musical Innards (Reprise)
forty-two minutes
2005
Thursday
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